the unknown…

Jan 27, 2026

Our daughter died, and not everyone knows. Let me explain this. When we announced to friends and family, this was the biggest leap of faith for me because I honestly was scared. I posted our registry, and people bought stuff. That made it feel more real somehow. 

But only a short 3 weeks later did everything come crashing down. I honestly was not expecting it at all. When she did die, I fell off the face of the earth for some time. I came back to socials, kinda dropping hints here and there. But then dropped off the face of the earth like truly this time. I haven’t been on any social media in about 4 months now, and honestly, I don’t want to go back. 

The people who know are our immediate family and our closest friends; they know the FULL extent of it. As the months have gone by, we’ve started to share that part of our story with our Bible study group and others along the way who also live in Japan. But outside of that, if anyone else did receive the news, it wasn’t from my husband or me. 

The truth in it. I felt embarrassed. To have been so excited, only to have people buy things from our registry, get a crib, and many other things, and then have to explain it was for nothing. I didn’t want to explain anything at all. I also hate crying in front of people more than anything. It felt like this one big cruel joke. 

Here’s the thing. I really don’t owe anyone an explanation for the most traumatic thing that ever happened to me. But her life will also be cherished, and it shouldn’t be an embarrassment to me. If you’re reading this and you’re going through the same thing, there is nothing to be embarrassed about. You had every right to be excited that life was wanted and so loved; there is nothing wrong with that.