Hard bitter truth

jan 6, 2026

Let’s talk about it! I will be the first to admit that I do feel bitterness most days. In fact, as I write this, I do feel a little bitter. As a person who has wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember, I find myself feeling bitter when I see others become moms, and I am still waiting, rather impatiently, might I add. 

I've heard it all, I'm not ready for that right now, I don't see that in our future, I really don't want any more, I hated being pregnant. Now look, that last one, I GET IT! My pregnancy was incredibly difficult. I was basically strapped to either a bed or a toilet for 8 weeks. Hypermesis graviderium is no joke. But you hear all of that, and those are the people who get it before you. And you really start to feel forgotten. 

Asking God, “Okay, I don't get it”, “When will it be my turn”, etc. I ask this too, and even worse, I do feel forgotten. When I was sitting in the hospital holding my daughter as she died, someone asked me how I felt, and I told them empty. I literally felt empty, like there was absolutely nothing left inside of me. She said she knew I felt robbed, and I did. It felt like I finally got what we prayed and hoped for, and then it was just taken, with no warning. I've had so many people tell me they've prayed for me and the Lord has told them different things. I know they mean it in good faith to help me feel like I am not forgotten, but if anything, it confuses me more, making me feel even more lost because I don't understand what it all means.

I wish I had a sweet note to end on, but I don't. This journey isn't always sweet; sometimes it's bitter. But one thing you and I can lean on is that God is with you in each emotion you have. He will always listen as you speak. He is not going to condemn you for the emotions you have. He is your comforter; let Him be that for you. He loves you so much.