This is where I Praise!!

March 10

This is where I find myself the most when I just need a moment with Jesus. With my apron on and my hair up, elbow deep in some dishes or making banana bread for the millionth time at my husband’s request. 

Occasionally, when I need a break, I’ll sit down at our dining room table and reflect on my life. Yes, there is so much pain and suffering right now, but this is the moment I get to sit with Him in all that he has given me, apart from what I’m still waiting for. Even in that, I look at the small Japanese tea pot in the corner by the lamp and think about the friends I bought it with, the amount of laughter in that store, all while brainstorming a gift for another friend. This is the life He has blessed me with; it is blurred sometimes behind the tears, but it’s still there when I wipe those tears away. 

As I worship in this kitchen, I think about how blessed I am to be home all the time. Granted, this is not the way I expected it. I expected to work until we had our first baby, and I’d be done. God very much had other plans. He made it clear I wasn’t going back to work until further notice. Now I cook, clean, spend time with Jesus, and spend almost forever on FaceTime with literally anyone. Actually, as I type this, I’m currently baking bread for sandwiches for my husband to take to work. God has slowly brought to life the things I’ve always wanted in life. He helps me to steward it well and to also enjoy it. 

While washing the dishes and looking out the kitchen window, this is where I reflect the most. I find myself smiling even through the suffering because it really is a beautiful life I have, thanks to my Father in heaven. 

Through my grief, it doesn’t always feel like this, though. When I’m deep in my grief, it’s actually when I’m away from the kitchen the most, which normally means I’m running from God in some capacity. This is really just my experience with grief. I’m grateful for my life even in the midst of the suffering. 

Hebrews 13:15 says, “So through Jesus let us always offer our sacrifice to God. This sacrifice is our praise, coming from lips that speak his name.”

I once heard someone say, “ When it’s difficult to praise, do it anyway. He’s still on the throne. He can still be trusted. It takes discipline, but our faith grows deeper.” It is hard to praise Him some days, but I find myself doing it anyway because I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. Praise Him anyway!